February 2018

Interpreting my intricacies

If I had to begin,

I would with a smile,

The one I desire to be plastered across my face as widely as possible just about all of the time

Because this is my essence

The thread I was brought here to bring

Forward to thrill the very tips of my teeth

To feel and reveal joy in each and every moment,

The very fibre of my being,

The absolute gift of the moments we are given,

Protrude from my pores as an expression of the gratitude I've been wise enough to bathe in.

What a pleasure to be here,

The wind whips me into place

The sun ferrels the core of my feeling, ever deepening the understanding of how far I can go

In

Into the pieces of my soul that have long been forgotten

Tucked, stored, dashed away—so as to be never seen again

Had I not begun the merciless, fierce and persistent pursuit of my true nature

Of who I was meant to be

Before my eyes opened and my world began to inform me

Before all of my input became my output too

Before there was a me and you

While I was still cooking in my mothers belly,

There was a strand of ecstasy, of new land that rose from

Clean waters who purified the way for my entrance,

Whose volcanic eruption burst from the deepest aspect of my mother’s divine source

To create the sequencing of who I have ever been, continue to be, and will exist as in an infinite unfolding, blossoming, becoming.

Awestruck by the waves that manifest my reality,

A figurative depicition of how clear a connection I can conjure

How badly do I want to get to the center?

I proclaim an unbounding, endless, unconditional, yet reverent and constantly course correcting…deafening, all encompassing, devotion to loving this self

In all its forms, artuculations and expressions

in every which way it held itself, may she now know she was held all along

May her inverted postures be healed for she need look for no one

Long for no body,

For she trusts she is surrounded,

She keeps her chin held high,

She creates for herself and not another, towards an expansive practice of loving herself to new space each and every day.

She allows her ether to evelop and encircle her, reminding her of the vastness of the unknown

The mystery of what’s beyond the surface,

No longer fearful of what it encompasses, but rather asking for it to navigate her towards her bliss

Listening for clues and hints

Slowly becoming a master at her own disarrayed maps and paths down roads she’d have rather left never to be seen again

Loving this game she plays,

And plays and plays

The inner child becoming her divine guide,

The beguilement of the ordinary

The vastness of the extraordinary

Honoring each footprint and swipe of the hand that manifested her existence

All of the loving touches,

Even the mind numbing number crunches

Embracing it all, not casting either aside, but acknowledging each has been taken with pride

To build a better future

To see another day

To birth a new paradigm

So that today I change the meaning, that I bring to all things

A gift, achievement, tool and assessment of exactly where I am and exactly who I want to become.

Karmic currency vibrating in my bones,

Seeing my actions, words, thoughts—aligning them, holding me to them, looping me only into the circles I contain myself in.

Step beyond the dance

See beyond the image

For each particle in my body is here to be felt and experienced

My heart exists through my being, as my being, with my being

The two are inseparable

If you come to me, I will love you

I will not hold back

I am done hiding my heart—especially from myself

Because when her song sings through me I am reminded I am simply here to get out of her way.

Constantly redefining, rephrasing, exacting the woman I want to be with myself

And in co creation.

Taking full responsibility for all I have the ability to be.

The motorcycle’s engine is as apart of me as the dragonfly’s whimsical wings.

I am deeply human, yet divinely intelligent.

I am intrinsically elemental, yet woven with story, narrative, history and life

These tug at both ends, extending me to my bounds,

Showing my edges, only to help me expand them,

An ever furthering, while only going deeper into my bones, into the records time has placed inside of me

Into all of us

Of the answers we yearn for,

Simply turning inwards, I found find all I desire would never be in my ‘reality’—what I see and experience

Until it was allowed by myself for myself

That I was in a maze of believing in my unworthiness

That the labyrinth of my pain glazed and shaded the truth of my power, prowess, force,

And veiled my softness, kindness, sensitivity, and at times intense overwhelming mind bending reeling.

The silence is golden, it holds you in its grasp, painting a picture of all that I am,

Showing me the way to its intel— always drawing you closer to it,

wrapped as it, aligning with it, relating as it,

pushing me both towards and away from it, with each inhale and exhale, moving away and returning

Home,

The uniquely specifically perfect center I hold, I've been gifted with,

I honor and respect and now operate in gratitude for it

Learning the language of my body, allowing her to confide in me,

be her best friend, share her murmurings with.

I had betrayed her a lot, left her disconnected and on the brink of rotting in her shame,

And now she is opening to show me all of her divine ways.

I am blessed, I am receiving, I love you, I love me. Love is all I have been and always will be.